But You Promised!
Written by Debby Baril
I didn’t need my Fitbit watch to confirm that sleep was once again elusive. A mind in overdrive and a stomach in knots, analyzing a recent turn of events, wishing for someone whose presence brings a calm without even saying a word, whose presence grounds, but no one is here.
I turn my focus to the Lord whose presence is greater than any other. He doesn’t need to speak; He doesn’t need to “do” anything. His Presence is enough. My body begins to decompress, my mind calms, and I breathe in 1-2-3-4, hold, and breathe out 1-2-3-4. I begin to practice “breath prayers”, an ancient form of prayer, as taught by Lisa Waites in our Women Together Logos Bible Study. Breathe in, “Be-still-and-know,” hold, breathe out, “that-I-am-God” (Psalm 46:10).
We turn to the scriptures and wonder with puzzlement why things didn’t go as “promised”. The broken heart of a mother who raised her son in the way that he should go but who has turned away from the Lord. The disappointment of the woman who refused to give in to unethical ways at work and was overlooked for a promotion or even fired. The confusion of a faithful tither and generous giver who ends up losing everything. The hard-working, careful planning retiree who envisioned adventure and travel, instead, homebound by loss and sickness. What happens when you do everything right and everything goes wrong?
Sadly, my first response often falls to a victim mentality, “How can this be? Why me? But You promised!” And somewhere along the way I realize, I’ve called into question God’s character, and oh, how that pains me! I turn the questions around: am I living under a false belief, a misguided expectation, or a wrong understanding of God and His ways?
Thankfully, through the patient and transformative work of the Holy Spirit, the time span between shock and surrender is shortening. “Be still and know that I am God.” Surrendering, I’m reminded of a line in a favorite hymn, “Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul” (Horatio Spafford-It is Well with My Soul).
As I sit with scripture, I’m no longer looking for a promise I can hold Him hostage to, or turn into a childish accusation, “But You promised!” Instead, the scriptures are becoming increasingly precious as I seek to comprehend our incomprehensible God, and His unimaginable ways.
Reflection:
Friends, are we cherishing the promises of God from a place of wonder or from a place of entitlement? Although we hold the promises of God close, are we holding the Promise-Giver even closer?
